Mystic Badger
Our very own future seeing wildlife astrology badger. He sees the future and it is stripy. For the year 2008, the mystic badger sees squirrels, nuts and hawthorn. Moonlight on the 22nd january, bono from u2 and a city in the north of the scoter-land will be confused, many badgers find turnips and 2 badgers will talk to the long legged people in their english language, they will forget our code – don’t let the hooman beans know they know that we know them. Early in the year we will have 5 days of white, cold water schnow followed by 3 nights of very much coldness. A sniff, starlight walk and a scratch in dewy grass to you all.The mystic badger.
this month is the month for greasy chips. they make a great snack after a couple of beers down the local. what, you say, badgers don’t drink. oh yes they do, that’s just folklore. mine’s a guiness, followed by malt whisky chaser. i don’t condone heavy drinking. i insist on it. that’s why badgers spend hours asleep, horrible hangovers, a bit of dribbly vomit and bad breath. so next time you see a badger on the road, and it veers from side to side, that’s not flight instinct, it’s drunken behaviour. be patient and we will soon wobble by.
